I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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