Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
