someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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