He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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