i permit you to call me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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