who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
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Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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