How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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