I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
