8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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