I just threw up on my dentist
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
