he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
