Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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