doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
