I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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