The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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