there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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