Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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