he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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