she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
