Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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