I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Pappa wants mamma naked
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
