So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
