my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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