I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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