I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
