She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
