I think I died a long time ago.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The beers last night were like the tears from god
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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