His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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