so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
