just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
