Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
