I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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