my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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