just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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