One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
