i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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