Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize
