I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
