apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
