to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
