Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
