I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
