i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
