hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
