that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
