I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
vagina is talking i cant
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
