I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When did angry sex become our thing?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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