god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
