And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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