i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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