I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
