We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
