NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
