Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
