How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
