sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
