SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
