ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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