Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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